Dangerous Games

If you're wondering why this blog post is late, you'll find the answer momentarily. I decided to regularly post on Sundays as I see Sundays as the end of a week and the perfect time to rest and reflect (as well as do laundry and meal prep). Last week, I was in Spokane, WA for the annual Conference on College Composition and Communication. I'll probably keep what I learned from the conference for the next blog post. The important part for now is that I was set to return home from the conference on Sunday night.

Planes have always made me anxious. Perhaps I should have known something was amiss with all the turbulence I experienced. I feel like bad things tend to come together, and good things come together too. When I finally landed, I was exhausted from clenching my muscles for so much of the day. My partner, and ride home from the airport, was patiently waiting. for me in his truck while I rushed to the baggage claim. It was a little before midnight. That's when I got the text.

Hi there, sorry for the text. Are you the sister of (they spelled my brother's whole name)? Hopefully so, but we haven't been able to contact him for close to 24 hours and we filed a missing persons report while he was supposed to be visiting us here in San Diego. I'm sorry to reach out like this but we were praying you might have more direct info or a way to contact his parents.

I don't know if it's the English teacher in me or the anxious skeptic, but I expected the text to be a scam. The language seemed just a bit off to me, and I didn't recognize the number. My stomach twisted just a bit, and the carousel at the baggage claim had yet to spit out our luggage. I pondered my options. Should I just ignore the message? After all, how would they find my phone number and relationship to my brother first? Yes, he is my brother, but I lived days away in another state while the rest of our family lived in the same towns in California that they had always resided in. Had they really not been able to find my brother's friends or our mom or sister via phone number or social media? Why me? What if it was a scam to collect data on me, my brother, and my family? What if I called our parents and sent them into the emotional whirlwind of their only son being lost in the unknown?

On the other hand, what if it wasn't a scam? What if they really had no way of finding my family and I was their only shot? What if my brother needed me... needed us? I was a 30-hour drive away, exhausted from travel, and anxious at midnight. There wasn't much I could do other than engage with the texter and message my brother to see if he was really unreachable. His phone went straight to voicemail. He didn't respond to my texts.

I decided to proceed with caution. I responded minimally, starting with the obvious question:

Who is this?

They wasted no time in identifying themselves. The information seemed to line up. They knew my brother's whole name, that he had 2 sisters, his college and fraternity, and the name of our hometown. I just didn't know their name. I Googled their phone number and area code, and the data seemed to match the name they gave me. Next, I searched my brother's Instagram for potential pictures, tags, or comments from people with this name. I couldn't find it. I tried to save myself some time to continue researching.

Okay. I just got off a flight. Let me contact my parents.

My shortness must have worried them. I had not really confirmed I was his sister. I was still giving minimal information. I didn't even confirm that my parents were his parents.

If you could please let me know if you are his family that would be insanely appreciated so I know if this is even a real lead or if we need something/someone else.

By this time, I was still unable to find this person on his Instagram. Everything else lined up though. I decided to take the plunge into the situation as reality, not a scheme.

Yeah, I'm calling our family members.

Once I confirmed my identity, they sent all the other information-- the person they filed the missing persons report with at the San Diego Police Department and how they had the hospitals and police departments nearby searching for a John Doe that could possibly be my brother. Things lined up. This was real. Fuck.

By now, I had collected my bag from the baggage claim and was walking to the truck. I showed my partner the texts. He too was skeptical, but understood why our reuniting wasn't as happy as usual. I called my mom, who couldn't be heard as the signal came in and out from wherever she was. I called my sister as well. My sister checked her Instagram, which had blocked a message from the friend who had texted me. This was very real. When we finally reached my apartment, I had gotten ahold of my mom, who said she would figure things out.

By 1 a.m., I decided to try and rest. I had conferences the next morning. When I woke up, I got the text from my mom saying my brother had been found. He also had responded to my messages with a "Sorry about that." Things went back to normal. I wasn't central to the drama of the family anymore. I went to work knowing things worked out. I didn't need to know the gritty details. I released my concern and exhaustion, exchanging them for the tidy schedule of conferences I planned for the week.

I guess what I learned from this whole ordeal is I have the skills to figure out what kind of messages are scams and which are real when it comes down to it. There's a balance between skeptical, holding back information, and falling for every emotional encounter as soon as danger is potential. At the end of the day, I have to trust both my gut feeling and my research skills and logic to engage in dangerous games. Anything less, and I could be useless.

#IDisappointMyDad #IDMD #dangerousgames #post4 #04112024 #missingpersons #4C24 #CCCC #NCTE #scams