The Time to End Bullying

advertised photos with scribbled edits in hair, make-up, and clothing (2012)

The Story

The first thing I did in 2025 was curse someone. My friend of over 15 years invited me to a New Year's Eve Party at one of her friends' (who I met previously) homes. The party was co-hosted by the friend's roommate and the roommate's girlfriend. I didn't expect much. Maybe some drinks, chips, and a popper here or there. We picked up some beer and headed over just after 9.

I was having a good time at the party. Two shots of Patrón and quality time with friends around a bonfire do that to a person. When we occasionally went inside for street tacos, candy bars, drinks, or bathroom breaks, I'd end up talking with other guests about drug addiction, emotional support animals, or Yi Gi Oh! I felt like I was fitting in quite fine. I barely talked to the roommate or his girlfriend. I thought nothing of it.

After it hit midnight and the Yu Gi Oh! talks had settled down, we decided to say our goodbyes and leave for some midnight munchies. This, of course, is when the tea was spilt. While I had barely one conversation with the roommate's girlfriend, apparently it was all she needed to decide she didn't like me and make fun of me behind my back. She told my friend's fiancé she didn't like me and was making motions and joking behind me while I talked with other party guests.

I was more than embarrassed. I was furious. This woman looked to be in her late 30s, early 40s. I expected any adult party attendees to be mature enough to not be bullies, let alone the oldest person there and the party co-host. I think what really set me off was how she talked shit about me to the people who invited me to the party, one of which was a long-time friend. What a bitch! Sitting in the car on the way to Jack in the Box, I cursed her. I wished her 2025 would be miserable, and that she would receive bullying equal to mine that night. When I found out the house might stop subletting to her boyfriend, I was ecstatic. We spent the next couple of hours eating fast food and talking about the party signals I missed that would have told me I wasn't welcome there.

We laughed for sure, but I couldn't help but feel like I was back in high school, surrounded by drama I never wanted to be a part of. By the time I showered and went to bed around 3 a.m., the pain of this settled in. Despite being in my 30s, I was still just as easy a victim as I was back in high school before I gained better social skills. The thought of cursing someone being my first intended action of 2025 also made me feel queasy. I didn't want to be some vindictive asshole, even if she did deserve it. I hate feeling like an asshole, so she won in the end. She hurt me and made me feel bold enough in a moment to do more things that hurt me.

Moving Forward

When I woke up the next afternoon, I still felt very negative about the party and my reaction to being made fun of. My next intention was to remedy my action the night before: instead of cursing people and continuing the vicious cycle of bullying and girl-on-girl violence, I plan to spend 2025 cutting out the drama that puts me in the vicious cycle of bullying and focusing on spending time doing good things.

2025 is the perfect time to do this, too. While many people don't have the option to avoid co-workers and drama in their workplace, this semester marks a special time for me as I am taking a step back from teaching to work on writing program administration and a research assistantship that can mostly be done from the comfort of my home office. I don't expect to have any petty students or work with any petty people in my grad program as I spend my coursework on independent research as I prepare for my comprehensive exams. I just get to focus on me and working with my mentors. I want to help others with my admin work and make individual progress. I hope this year it will give me the opportunity to better myself and end 2025 with something more positive than the curse I started it off with. I hope you, my readers, can find something positive to do for your 2025.

#IDMD #IDisappointMyDad #bullying #bullies #gradschool #work #kindness